Whatever catches your fancy

Squeak

2008-04-01T10:50:00.000+08:00

Right. So my zeal in blogging has whittled to a spat. So I've decided to move my blog. Dunno why. I'm quite a nomad that way...I don't like to stay at a spot for too long.

Let me know if you're still interested to read abt it...but must warn you first - it's gonna be mostly adult-ish stuff (not x-rated, I meant grown-up. Duh.). You know, weddings, jobs and all. *wink*

Toodles!

It's been a good 7 years

2007-11-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

It didn't quite hit me that Sat was the last time I'll ever step into TTP again. I suspect that having been so caught up with work the past month or so has suppressed my feelings for TTP so much so that it now feels as though the dam is ready to burst. The feelings once hidden in the deep recesses of my heart are finally emerging. And now, I'm feeling inexplicably down...This is so strange...I feel like I'm going through a break-up.

And perhaps it is. Afterall, break-ups are also about letting go. And bracing yourself that one day, when the new owners come and inhabit the place that you once knew so intimately, you'll be able to take it in your stride and say, "I wish you well." And when that day comes, the sadness will be taken over by genuine happiness for the new owners and a sense of content that at least, you had a chance in this lifetime to call "it" your own. Albeit for only 7 years. But how wonderful those 7 years were.

It's hard to let go, isn't it? :'(

It's diwali...

2007-11-08T14:07:00.000+08:00

And I don't feel like working :(

But I have to clear that darn paper by tomorrow before I move to mothership ministry on Monday. Yeah,that's right. I'll be there for a month.

Maybe I should go bake! I think Mel wanted the recipe for the swiss meringue buttercream that I learnt at Shermay's a while ago... so here goes:

Ingredients:
2 egg whites (approximately 80gm nett weight of egg whites without shell; from large eggs, 60gm per egg with shell)
150gm caster sugar
1/4 tsp fine salt
230 gn unsalted better, cubed and softened at room temp for 30 mins

Method
1. Fill a medium-sized saucepan with water (up to a depth of 5cm). Bring to a boil, then turn down the heat so the water just simmers.
2. Meanwhile, mix the egg whites, sugar and salt with a hand whisk in the bowl of a heavy duty stand mixer
3. Place the bowl over the pan of simmering water and gently whisk until the ingredients are hot to the touch and the sugar is dissolved - feel the mixture between your fingers; it should be smooth, with no grains of sugar left
4 Fix the mixer with the whisk attachment. Attach the bowl to the mixer. Whip on medium speed until the mixture is oooled to room temp; abt 5 mins
5. At a medium-low speed, add the softened butter, a few cubes at a time, waiting for each addition to be incorporated before adding the next. After all the butter has been added, increase mixer speed to medium, and continue whipping until the buttercream is thick and smooth, abt 5 mins
6. once the buttercream is firm and smooth, add the desired flavouring gradually and continue to beat untill well blended.

Flavourings:
Raspberry buttercream
Add 4 tbsp of thick, seedless raspberry puree

Chocolate buttercream
Add 75gm bittersweet chocolate (melted and cooled to room temp before using)

Vanilla buttercream
Add the scraped-out pulp of 1 whole vanilla bean, of 1 tbsp of vanilla bean paste , of 1 tbsp pure vanilla extract

Espresso buttercream
Add 2 tbsp of freshly-brewed espresso (cooled to room temp before using) of 2 tsp instant coffee granules dissolved in 2 tbsp of hot water (coffee cooled to room temp before using)

When it's done it can be piped above the cupcakes for deco. The base of the swiss meringue is cooked egg whites so it's pretty safe to keep in the fridge for a couple of days before re-using. Just wait for it to cool first so that it's easier to pipe.

Working on a public hol/weekend/weekday night

2007-11-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

It's times like these that I wish I wasn't dating a lawyer.

Just for fun

2007-11-02T09:52:00.000+08:00

Because I hardly get requests to do memes...

1. Who eats more?
Him. Cos I give him whatever I can't finish.

2. Who said "I love you" first?
Him.

3. Who is the morning person?
Him. He always sounds bright and chirpy when he calls me on his way to work versus the I-wanna-stone me on the bus.

4. Who sings better?
Me! I tease him constantly abt how he mis-pitches the first notes of every song that plays on the radio or CD. But ok la, once he gets the pitch right, he can carry a tune decently.

5. Who's older?
Me....one month only la!

6. Who's smarter?
Hmmm... I think it depends. I'm better with figures though.

7. Whose temper is worse?
Mine. Till date, I've never seen him angry or upset.

8. Who does the laundry?
errr I dunno yet. But I suspect it would be me cos I can't do the ironing.

9. Who does the dishes?
Depends on who cooked the food.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
I have no idea.

11. Whose feet are bigger?
His la. One look and you'll know.

12. Whose hair is longer?
Mine.

13. Who's better with the computer?
Him...though he's clueless abt applications such as FB, blog, etc.

14. Do you have pets?
I have a fish called Albert.

15. Who pays the bills?
We pay our own expenses.

16. Who cooks dinner?
Me...he's too busy/lazy to cook.

17. Who drives when you are together?
mostly him...but he hands the wheel over to me once in a while to feel what it's like to be a passenger.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
him....
edit: He insists on paying cos (in his words) "I want to provide for you". So it's not my idea k!

19. Who's the most stubborn?
mostly me...though he can be very fixed once he's made a decision.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
him...cos he usually is! haha

21. Whose family do you see more?
mine. He lives too far from me and I don't have a car so we spend more time over at my side.

22. Who named your pet?
me.

23. Who kissed who first?
errr isn't it a two-way street? that said, he was the one who leaned over first ...

24. Who asked who out?
I dropped him an email to ask if he'd like to do lunch. I was new at raffles place and needed a friend!!

edit: I asked him out for lunch, but he was the one who did the "wanna go steady" thing on me.

#25 is missing.

26. Who's more sensitive?
that would be me.

27. Who's taller?
Thankfully, him.

28. Who has more friends?
kekeke...he says I'm the social one so it might be me!

29. Who has more siblings?
we both have one each.

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
We make a point to always consider each other whenever decisions need to be made. If it's inconsequential stuff (like where to eat or park), then whoever has the louder voice, wins.

Audra and Mel: Do this! I wanna know your answers :p

A quick one....

2007-10-22T23:43:00.001+08:00

A rare glimpse into the life I have now. Hahaha...we're both monkeys. Actually nah, we're goats. Monkey-goats, Goat-monkeys. Whatever. I need to sleep.

BTW, I didn't die on Sunday. That's cos I chickened-out and decided, in a second, to sleep in. I've come to realise that such activities are ony fun when you go with a couple of friends...it's just not fun waking up at 6am and finishing alone. Sigh. Next year! Maybe.

Night!

The Consequence

2007-10-18T09:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so gonna die an ugly death this Sunday.

Uh oh...

2007-09-11T14:24:00.000+08:00

I think I'm morphing into an Auntie. While other colleagues scoff at the idea of working at TP, I actually am enjoying it quite a bit. I like popping into cash converters, courts and other quirky shops to check out what they have. But the most tell-tale sign of me morphing into a full-fledged Auntie is that I spend most of my time in Phoon Huat. In fact, as I'm typing this entry I am resisting this strong force beckoning me to come purchase more baking tins, flavourings and what-nots. Chances are I will sneak out later for a quick look-see (I worked in during lunch today so I am entitled to a short break la).

Ever since I started my baking classes 4 Sundays ago I've been surprising myself with my success so much so that I promptly signed up for Stage 2 which will commence this Sunday. Enough of cheena cakes (butter, chiffon, blackforest) and I shall master the ang moh cakes and attempt to stupefy everyone with my deft baking skills from now on!

My all-time favourite song

2007-08-20T09:51:00.000+08:00

After all these years, SCC still works for me :)

All my bags are packed...

2007-08-07T15:34:00.000+08:00

Well not really. Since I’m not given any more work to do, I decided I should keep myself busy and sane by packing my barang. Here are some of the things I accumulated over the year:

1. Coffee, Tongkat Ali and ginseng mix (dun ask me about the Tongkat Ali – I also thought their sole purpose was to boost the male *ahem*... anyway apparently they are also great energy-boosters for females as well. I never got round to trying them btw)
2. Korean nail-clipper (it works the same as ours…just that this has a Korean figurine attached)
3. Korean survival phrasebook
4. China Airlines coasters
5. Scented candle
6. Richard Gere look-a-like Monkey stuffed toy (it’s a Proboscis Monkey)
7. Flower stuffed toy thingamajig
8. Tons of post-it pads

They treated me to a farewell lunch today and gave me a gift with card. I was so surprised; especially since I always thought they were always too busy to show concern for other people. Some of them wrote really sweet & encouraging things in the card too so yeah. *sniff* I dunno how things are gonna change after I leave...wonder if I would keep in touch with them or if they’ll ever recognize me on the street. It’ll be hard but I think I ought to give it my best shot. Fullmoon wrote in one of her entries about how people will not remember you for the decisions you make, but for the things you did or said. How true.

The other day I dreamt that I sucked big-time at my new job and the whole team rebelled against me. Yikes. I need some intensive tutorials on how to manage people...anyone? (Jane, if you’re reading this – Heeelp!)

Hear ye! Hear ye!

2007-07-30T12:38:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to come up with a witty/thought-provoking/funny entry the whole morning, and the closest I could get was to do an exposition on The Simpsons Movie which I watched yesterday. But I shall spare you all the agony and entertain you with the other inane details of my life.

As of somewhere in Sept, I shall join the TP crowd. It's a hodgepot of aunties, maniacs, professionals, civil servants, heartland chio bu...how interesting, that place. I'm sure I'll be able to regale you all with even more colourful stories when I officially go over. Goodbye tissue-packet-choping RP! Hello $2.50 meals! It's a giant leap of faith...but here goes :)

Another thing - Dempsey Village is up-there in the hip quotient man! The whole place has seriously transformed. It’s like seeing your awkward braces-wearing jeans-and-sports-shoes cousin transform into a glamorously coiffed clotheshorse. Amazing. I suggest you make a trip there soon to see for yourself (call me!!). The Ben and Jerry's there rawks (sorry for the teenage lingo)!

Entering the next phase...

2007-07-25T16:50:00.000+08:00

I feel like I’ve come one full circle. You know the thing about grace? You don’t realize it’s been grace at work till you reach one full circle, and then you go, “oh! So is that what God had planned all along?…”

Amazing.

First attempt - Fail!

2007-07-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

I tried my hand at baking apple's pie yesterday....but silly me misread the proportions and doubled the amount of butter, so needless to say, it was graded F9 before the whole chunk went down the chute.

I was so grumpy and upset when the dough came out wet and soggy as I was preparing it. The "cover" for the pie sank between the apples when I placed them on top. So I got pissed and told James to remove the pie top and I'll make another one. I was so intent on doing it right - got the bowls chilled, froze my hands before I rubbed the butter in, etc - but ironically didn't bother to read the instructions as carefully as I should. It wasn't till the blob of molten thingy emerged from the oven and James decided to troubleshoot by asking me very basic questions like "did you use the right flour?" that I realised that I doubled the amount of butter called for in the recipe.

No wonder my uncle took one whiff and exclaimed in cantonese, "Wah! Butter pie ah!"

The saving grace was the batch of lemon butter cupcakes I made hours earlier which got a thumbs up from everyone present. I am determined to get this darn apple pie right this weekend. I shall be master over the recipe and not the other way round.

Snuffing it out

2007-07-19T16:57:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the Internet, I found links to people whom I haven’t met or talked to in years…and then I realize that I have absolutely no inclination whatsoever to get back in touch. The dust has settled and I have no interest in raking the dust pile again. Even so, there’s a twang of sadness and regret in my heart. One filled with lost hope and the meaningless wish for a life I was not meant to have.

I need to snap out of it.

It’s a like a poison, this envy thing, that slowly eats into your vital organs if you allow it to fester. Soon I’m thinking I’m no good, I’ve got no talents, no gifts, no money, no high-flying career, no car, no body, no looks…this really sucks. I read somewhere that things like these happen when we leave the door slightly ajar for the evil one to plant such thoughts and feelings and then allow them to grow by indulging and entertaining them. And they always come fast and furious in ways least expected. All that scheming devil needs is a little, teeny weeny gap to work his way into our unconscious and before you know it, it blows up into a full-fledge self-induced pitying session. Pui.

So anyway, pray with me ya. I’ve got a lot to be thankful for, and even though circumstances often baffle me the way they turn out; I know that with a good dose of patience and faith, I will come to see the hand of grace that was and is working behind the scenes. We learnt about sanctifying grace last night, and that’s what I pray will work in my life – for His grace to sanctify me and transform me into more like Christ. So that His values are my values; His delight, my delight.

Another thought: I’m really really blessed to have James with me. If I have to name one good thing that came out of my stint in Kimchi land, it would be meeting him. He’s been extremely patient, loving, caring, understanding, etc with all my nonsense and chao bin-ness. Yup. Good man must keep. Wahahaha

Yet another random thought: In my enthusiasm to sign-up for the 10km run (GE), I actually convinced some aunties in my co. to run the 5km fun run. So suddenly I’m the default lead-trainer who’s tasked with whipping everyone into shape for Oct. Dang. I can’t even drag my ass to the gym regularly enough…and now I’m supposed to plan the training schedule?!? I need help.

Wow - 2 posts in a day!

2007-07-18T17:21:00.000+08:00

One simple sms is enough to throw me completely off. Crap. What should I do? What should I do??!

It’s been such a long struggle…but I think it’s time to surrender it to God, take a good hard look at myself and my talents, and recognize that perhaps my lofty dreams were just, well, illusions of a life which I secretly coveted. Maybe I’m just not supposed to go down that road. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But there are still risks to be taken which scare the socks outta me. The world says, “Weigh your options and consider what the next step might bring you in the future. Choose something that will bring your market value up.” What I think God taught me is, “Weigh your options carefully because what you do has a direct impact on your wellbeing and will shape how you view work. Your ‘market’ value is dependent on what I can and will do for you.”

Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” Our view of life is restricted by our humanness, but we can trust ourselves to the One who has an unlimited view! – RBC, Our Daily Bread

One for the mid-week

2007-07-18T09:29:00.000+08:00

Ok so I’ve been excruciatingly busy lately…I’m a little annoyed at that really. My weekday nights just zip by with me running from one event/programme/activity to another. I reach home with no energy left to do anything; can’t even muster enough strength to switch on my laptop to engage in some mindless banter via MSN. I bought some flour and stuff intending to bake something last weekend but alas, Harry Potter side-tracked me and ruined my well-intended plans. What a waste of money, btw, that show.

I fed the church last weekend. Think it’s my first attempt at mass feeding…somehow I think it would have been less stressful if I were Jesus and needed to just multiply the fish and loaves…I mean, at least he didn’t have to weigh the ingredients, knead the dough, watch the oven, season the fish, etc. It was pretty unnerving cooking and letting the brutally honest (I appreciated it, btw. Really!!) church mates critique. All in all, I think it was a commendable debut. *Pat* I really need all the feedback possible….cos….well (it’s really premature and presumptuous to reveal this at the moment but…) I’ve been thinking about starting my own joint for a while now. Yeah. Me. Heh. Definitely not in the near future (by this I mean this year and possibly next) of course. I’ve got some pretty cool ideas which I think can work…so the plan now is to seriously start honing my kitchen skills and get more guinea pigs to try my food for feedback. Muahahaha… oh oh oh! And of course I need to use this interim period to source for gullible, kind-hearted people with lots of moo-lah and convince/coerce them to invest in moi. Hiak. Sleeping partners with cash to spare and won’t interfere in the concept are best. Right now, James has pledged his piggy bank to my venture so that’s a start.

If you have no money but wouldn’t mind eating my food and give constructive feedback; I’d also welcome that. As they say, 有钱出钱，有力出力!

Fare promotions

2007-06-19T12:43:00.000+08:00

heh. I shall do my part for the upcoming low-season promotion...

We are offering $670 for 2-to-go to Seoul and $750 for one person (excl. taxes). Prices are pretty reasonable compared to other airlines...must travel and issue ticket by 30 September.

So take a vacation! Go to Seoul by Korean Air! 감사합니다 !!

Hmmm

2007-06-13T14:42:00.000+08:00

I think I'm a hamster.

When faced with uncertainties I like to burrow myself under frivolous things hoping somehow that things-which-need-my-attention will just go away. I also like to sleep my troubles/worry/anger away...My brain resets itself after a good sleep.

Mental escapades will bring temporary bliss before reality returns, bites you in the ass, and spit the remains in your face.

Quarter-life crisis

2007-06-07T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'm really really really upset with work...everyday I leave the place feeling completely sapped mentally and emotionally. Mind you, my daily grind does not involve intellectual discourses, brainstorming sessions, tight deadlines, high-powered negotiations, or anything of that sort... and I think that's the reason why I ended up like this. Being unchallenged at work sucks the life out of me.

I've been rather moody lately... sian to the limit. And I seem to be losing grip of who I am (was) - the boisterous, wacky me is slowly slipping away and I can almost feel myself decaying inside...bit by bit.

This can't go on. I need out.

I've been a bad girl...

2007-06-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

1. I haven't read my bible in a week
2. I haven't started reading the book
3. I'm lusting after a branded wallet
4. I overate and under-exercised the past 6 months (Hence the incipient round-er midsection)
5. I'm getting disgruntled with my job. Again. This time in a magnitude far greater than before.

Heeelp!

Awaken, baking instincts!

2007-05-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Keat’s very well-connected aunt, we have secured places at a cupcake-marking workshop this Sunday. *beams* We’ve been waitlisted since March and I heard that it’s almost impossible to get places cos they get filled up the minute a class is open. The instructor’s really amazing btw. Just look at her creations.

There’s also a donut-making class I want to attend…plus a series of “Basic cooking skills” where they teach you how to cut up meat, make stock, etc. Good for clueless people like moi.

This cooking-itch is not new. I’ve always wanted to whip up tantalizing dishes on my own a la Nigella Lawson. But my crummy kitchen skills (I don’t even know how to use the knife properly lor) have led to many tasteless meats and under-cooked brownies which left me rather distraught and hopeless. More experienced cooks say that I should not follow recipes and follow my instincts but seriously, judging by the way things have been I think cooking instincts were left out in my DNA make-up. I can cook up a nice mushroom soup from scratch though :)) right right right??
I wanna open a shop in the future. Hmmm.

On a separate note, a lot of pple around me seem to be feeling down/ill. Hope everything's ok. :-/

Warning: Long (and somewhat mushy) post!

2007-05-18T11:49:00.000+08:00

Since things are a little slow in the office today…and the fact that it’s Friday (yay!), I shall indulge in some blogging before I lose the zeal to update.

Come next week, James and I would have been seeing each other for 4 months. To celebrate the occasion I shall pen the whole dating story down while it's still lucid in my mind so that I can blackmail him in the future.

James and I met in JC. He was a good friend of my classmate and so we were kinda introduced vaguely. According to him (which I have absolutely no memory of), we took bus no. 33 home together once and that was the only time we really chatted. Apart from that bus ride, we chatted sporadically on ICQ and that was it. He knew me as “the girl who lived near him” and I remembered him as “Fred’s good friend”. We went our separate ways after JC and didn’t keep in touch.

Fast forward to September 2006. One bright morning, at 8.20am, I was walking to work when from a distance I spotted a familiar-looking chap who was heads above the crowd. He was drinking milk from a carton and walking towards me. We recognised each other immediately and stopped to chat for a while. He passed me his namecard (mine weren’t ready yet) and we said we’ll meet for lunch. A couple of hours later he text to say it was nice bumping into me after all these years and I replied through email that yes it was nice and we should catch up soon. Two weeks later I emailed him to see if he was keen for lunch but he had something planned already. Later in the afternoon he told me he was going to work late and asked if I was keen to have supper instead. I was meeting Tab in the evening at HV so I told him that if he was done by the time I am then yeah we could do supper. So that night he came by to pick me up from HV and we proceeded to Chun Tin Rd for our first meal together.

Thereafter we met about once or twice a week for lunch. Nothing spectacular happened though I found him easy to chat with and he found me “interesting” (his own words). In between lunch dates we kept in constant contact – either through email, sms or msn. Not a day would pass without him initiating some form of contact so naturally after a couple of months I began to wonder if he had something more than friendship in mind. But every time I tried to fish something out of him or nudge him towards telling me, he would retreat and make me feel that I was thinking things. So I grew increasingly frustrated because I thought he was playing with me…he was growing on me but I wasn’t getting the same vibe from him so I decided that I should cut this short by stepping back from the intensity. We had a mini-argument the day before my birthday because he wanted to bring me out on my birthday and buy me a gift but I refused. I told him, “I don’t want anything from you. Just give me a card if you want. But no presents and no dinner.” That was when he dropped the bomb saying that if I’m rejecting his offer because I think he likes me, then I’m wrong cos he doesn't like me- at least not now cos he felt that he didn’t know me enough to know if he wanted to date me (those were his words). That made my heart sink a little, but I was glad that it was clear and I can move on.

I then decided that we should stop going out that often (every few days) because it wasn’t right and I knew that if we continued in that intensity, I might wind up getting hurt. We were having dinner that Friday so I told him we should not see each other that often after that night. He thought I was joking initially but when he realized I wasn’t, he got a little upset and asked me why I wouldn’t go out with him. So we talked. When we couldn’t finish our talk after dinner and drinks, he drove to the public carpark at Chun Tin where we continued talking till 4.30am.

That was when the silly boy said that he said he didn’t like me then cos he thought that by saying all that, I would relent and let him bring me out on my birthday. It was a knee-jerk reaction when in fact he liked me since Christmas but was afraid of my response cos he couldn’t tell if I liked him. So after that long, long chat we decided that we shall continue seeing each other. No more ambiguity. From level 6 to 6.5/7.

Then during a work-trip to KL in January, he hinted over the phone that he wanted to make it official but wasn’t sure if I was ready. I coyly replied that he wouldn’t know till he asked. When I arrived in Singapore on Sunday in the afternoon, he whisked me home from the airport to shower and change. “I’m bringing you out for a nice dinner”, he said. It was off to Equinox for dinner, followed by a walk in the Botanics. That was where, on a wooden bench facing the Swan Lake, he asked if I would like to “give us a shot”.

And you all know the rest of the story.

Looking back, I thank God that despite the mess we created, we still ended up together. I think I would have lost out if my plan that Friday night succeeded. James has been so amazing in so many ways that it really isn’t possible to put them all down here.

It doesn’t matter how it happened as long as it did happen and we both have each other. *smiles*

I got tagged!

2007-05-18T10:11:00.000+08:00

Got tagged by Mel and Audra...so here goes!

EACH PLAYER OF THIS GAME STARTS OFF WITH 10 WEIRD THINGS, HABITS, OR LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ONESELF. PEOPLE WHO GET TAGGED MUST WRITE IN THEIR BLOG 10 WEIRD THINGS, HABITS, OR FACTS, AS WELL AS STATE THIS RULE CLEARLY. AT THE END, YOU MUST CHOOSE SIX PEOPLE TO BE TAGGED AND LIST THEIR NAMES. NO TAG-BACKS!

I talk/shout in my sleep occasionally. After all these years I still don’t quite know what triggers it – I used to think it’ll happen when I get a too hyper in the night (like how mothers prevent their kids from playing too hard before they sleep lest they end up having nightmares or active dreams in the night) but I’m beginning to think they're just random occurrences. I would be in a semi-conscious state of dreaming when I would suddenly exclaim, “What you want?!” or “Go away!” or “I know la!” It’ll be so loud that I would wake myself up immediately. And the other person who might be sleeping in the same room. Heh.
I don’t like purple vegetables. Vegetables just don’t look good or right in purple.
I didn’t sleep in my own room till I was 13. Up till then I slept with my parents on the floor next to their bed. I think I was afraid of the dark and myself ‘cos I talk in my sleep. Yeah I scare myself sometimes.
I used to dislike ACS (I) boys and harboured secret crushes on boys from The Chinese High (now known as HCI) and SJI. Must be the shorts. Hahaha. I still think that because I disliked them so much in school, God “punished” me by having me date only ACS (I) boys ever since I was at a date-able age.
I *must* follow a routine when I shower. If I miss something out or if the order’s not right I’ll get really upset and then rectify the situation by starting all over again.
I debate aloud with myself when I need to make an important decision. Yup, so you’ll know why if you see me looking all-serious and talking to myself in Zara.
I used to like to bite people. USED TO!!
I don’t drink carbonated drinks as it makes me burp/hiccup instantaneously.
The only coffee I drink is mocha. It has to smell like coffee but taste like chocolate. I’ve never tried black coffee, latte, macchiato, etc.
I started eating strawberries and crabs (separately; not together in a dish) only 3 years ago. I wouldn’t eat them before that ‘cos strawberries look prickly and crabs are just weird.

I’m not very weird la. Not many people left to tag so I’ll tag Sharon and Karen!

Jet-setting career

2007-04-26T23:51:00.000+08:00

During my younger days, I always dreamt of having a job that would take me to places...I'd imagine being greeted on the plane by stewardesses who would usher me to my roomy biz class seat and offer me a glass of champagne whilst the other regular joes wrestle their way through economy. Then I would arrive at the airport and immediately be whisked (private black merc, no less) to my 5-star hotel where the staff would acknowledge my arrival with "Welcome, Ms Chia. Your room is ready. The chocolates and Ipod speakers have been prepared in your room as requested and we hope you'll have a good stay with us."

Hah. Fat chance. Not unless my last name is Hilton.

The past week had me flying to Seoul and LA for a work thingy (on Economy. Bah.) and I tell you, it is no fun at all. I was literally zipping from hotel to office to airport and by the time I got to LA in the middle of the week, I was so exhausted and jet-lagged that I wish I could be teleported back home. Of course, being away from James made it worse cos I had no one to whine to. I must say that between the both of us, he's definitely got a lower tolerance for separation. Haha. But then, it was really sweet to know that he couldn't stand us being apart for more than a couple of days so much that he was seriously contemplating flying over to join me in my last leg of travel.

Anyway, now that I'm back, I'm hoping that this travelling thing will stop for the moment. Yeah, travelling's a lot more fun when work's not involved...and it's nice just being home and hanging out with people whom I like. Let's meet for tea/lunch/dinner soon!

Wake-up call

2007-03-20T21:47:00.000+08:00

Roy and I planned to do our usual riding route tonight...Was pretty excited as I could *finally* try out my bday gift from the churchmates and don my new cycling top! Hahahahaha

Ten minutes into the ride I felt like I was going to suffer from a heart attack. My legs won't cooperate and they weighed a ton. By the time we got to West Coast Mac's I was seriously thinking of turning round. I felt like such a loser. Hung on for a while more and managed to go one loop round pandan reservoir (I could have sworn the reservoir got wider since the last time we rode there...) after that I really buay tahan and had to have a pit stop at Mac's. Riiiight. All together now, "F.A.I.L!".

This is what 3-months of non-activity does to you. Goodness. I *so* need to get back to the regime. Tonight has given me a much-needed wake-up call - I need to get back to riding!! But first, I need to invest in a well-fitting helmet and a front blinker. The helmet keeps going seh-ngat whenever I go over a slight bump on the road. Worst, it sometimes covers my eyes when I move onto the lower handle bars. Tak glam. Tsk.

Anyway we set a target: May Day ride to East Coast and back. About 4 hours. I think I'll just do half and then call James to rescue me. Wahahahaha

Tonight's distance: 25km
Ave speed: 24km/h
Total time: 55mins (excluding pit stop)

Bleah. Shower time!

waves I'm alive!

2007-03-16T21:42:00.001+08:00

Whoops - been a long while since I've let out a squeak in here.

Been really busy with GB this month - endless meetings, events, camp, email updates....it's nuts! I sometimes wonder why I agreed to don the white uniform again...and then I remember that I only feel this way when I'm out of breath. When everything settles nicely and my mind starts to unfog, I remember that it was through GB that I got to know Christ. And I suppose now is my turn to do the same to the girls.

Camp was exhausting with hordes of girls going "Miss Chia, Miss Chia! My spectacles broke! *whine*", "Miss Chia! I'm scared the fire will burn me!", "Miss Chia, Miss Chia, how much water do I need to cook instant noodles?", "Miss Chia! I'm allergic to eggs!!", "Miss Chia! How to scrub my mess tin ah??"....

But when camp breaks and the girls have warmed up towards you...I realise that you really cannot claim to want to make a difference in people's lives without taking time out to be with them, live with them and talk to them. No way I can share God's love by staying in my little comfortable nook and serve God only by sitting on committees (ok, a little controversial here, but let me have my way for now, ya).

Anyway. 3 more weekends to burn for GB before my much needed respite. Plus, I'm going to Hong Kong in a week's time! Disneyland, no less! Wahahahaha

Have a good weekend, everyone! Over and out!

The wounds will go but....

2007-02-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

...till they heal completely I have to wear pants. Sigh. Here are the latest photos - the bruises have turned deep purple with a yellow ring around the welt. They look horrible now, and I think I will scare the living daylights outta the fellow gymmers tomorrow. Big sigh.

I look forward to the day where I my thighs can be shown in public once again.

Thank you once again, 3Sgt Ian Lee Shangjin :p I will continue to hold you responsible till I recover. Wahahaha

War scars

2007-02-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

Pain(t)ball before Lunar New Year is NOT a good idea. Remind me next time before I garung-ly agree to it ya. Long pants and knee-length skirts for the next 2 months. Plus a humungous bump on the bottom of my chin and a really digusting-looking wound on my hand too. Courtesy of sharp-shooter Cpl Ian Lee. Thanks.

Sigh. His parents are gonna think I'm too havoc for him. Yikes. I need to raid my closet to cover all my wounds.

BUT I must say, it was fun. In a sadistic way hahaha.

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

Sawadeekup!

2007-02-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

Off to Bangkok for a meeting-cum-presentation. Been arrowed by boss to present a bunch of sales figures to a bunch of people who's been in this line a lot longer than me. A LOT. So needless to say, I'm feeling a little jittery *yikes*

Oh well. Hopefully I'll be able to get some shopping done in BKK. :-/

Will also take pictures and upload them too add some spice to my humble blog.

See ya all when I come back! Sawadeekup! Bye!

The toil of man

2007-02-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

Just wondering...at what stage would you know that work has become so consuming that it warrants some concern? Sure, work is God-given in a sense that we are told not to be sluggards and to put in our best in whatever job we are called to be in...and in the process bring glory to God when we acknowledge that our drive for excellence comes from Him and point others to God through our work.

But what if it reaches a stage where work consumes a person to the extent that it has no space for another being to co-exist? Something's got to give, right? Is it really impossible to perform great in a job that requires large bits of your time and still have a meaningful relationship with your family and friends? Do we really need to sacrifice something? Can we really not have the best of both worlds? Can we really say we're glorifying God if we put in our best (time and efforts) in our work but in the process neglect the people around us?

Is there something inherently wrong if we put our significant other second place with work? Is there a cause for concern if work is as important as the significant other?

So Nice

2007-02-10T12:01:00.000+08:00

Someone to hold me tight
That would be very nice
Someone to love me right
That would be very nice
Someone to understand
Each little dream in me
Someone to take my hand
And be a team with me

So nice, life would be so nice
If one day I'd find
Someone who would take my hand
And samba through life with me

Someone to cling to me
Stay with me right or wrong
Someone to sing to me
Some little samba song
Someone to take my heart
And give his heart to me
Someone who's ready to
Give love a start with me

Oh yeah, that would be so nice
I could see you and me, that would be nice

- So Nice, Bebel Gilberto

Out in the open

2007-02-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

So. (Most of) the church mates have met him. Going my rounds but taking my time. So hold your horses if your turn hasn't come. I can't stress him out too quickly!

Poor thing. I've managed to avoid meeting anyone on his side (so far)...citing "I'm not ready!" as my defense statement. Hiak. And today I suggested playing a game on "Let's see who can hide this from the parents longer." Hahaha...I'm just buying time la. It's such an effort to meet new people; what more the family?

Had a good evening...tried Le Tonkin - A Viet and French restaurant at Mohd Sultan. Pretty classy yet non-pretentious. I like. Excellent service...the staff overheard when I casually mentioned (to J, not the waiter), "It's your birthday, so why don't you choose" and so they sprung a surprise on us with a complimentary chocolate mousse at the end of the meal. Food was great too - simple yet full of flavour. The bill came out to be rather eye-popping but it was the bottle of wine made up the most of the bill. So I suppose dinner was reasonable.

I've finally blogged about him. Phew. First step out into the open :D

Absent mommy blues

2007-01-31T10:43:00.000+08:00

The past weekend I've learnt that:

1. Washing machines operate in cryptic codes such as "A, B, C, D" with funny looking symbols that don't mean a darn thing to me;

2. Clothes ought to be separated into whites and coloured, not light-coloured and dark-coloured. Hence, sky blue socks and shirts are NOT to be washed with whites;

3. Men can be sloppy good-for-nothings who ought to be charged rent for breathing our share of the earth's air (or they ought to be banished to pluto where they will never need to lift a single finger doing housework since all their filth will be floating in the atmosphere and not stick onto floors, stoves, beds, clothes, etc);

4. Giving instructions such as "please hang the clothes out to dry" are not clear enough and should instead be rephrased as "please notice the wet clothes in the pail which I painstakingly washed the night before and did not have time to hang them out before I left for work this morning, and would thus appreciate it greatly if you could take them out, arrange them on the bamboo, and sun them OUTSIDE the home. Please note that leaving them in the kitchen will not make the clothes smell nicer or dry quicker. Please also note that clothes that were left to dry thethe day before do NOT need to be sunned again and should be taken off the bamboo and placed in the utility room. Only WET clothes, brother, WET ones.";

5. Men who say "don't worry, I'll clean up after I cook" really truly meant "don't worry, I'll do the minimal so that the place doesn't look filthy enough for you to get upset yet still require a second round of cleaning. By you, of course."; and

6. All mothers who keep the house spick and span should each be given a Nobel Peace Prize.

Boo. I want my mommy to come home so that I don't need to deal with this sloth.

Note: My mommy went on a well-deserved church trip to Israel and will be gone for 2 weeks. So meanwhile, I have to keep the house in order since my older brother happen to be an amoeba-disguised-as-a-human who only knows how to eat, defecate and sleep. Well, at least he puts his dirty clothes into the bin. There's hope :)

The part-time maid's coming on Sat! Yippeeee!

(Almost) Postlude to the Drama

2007-01-15T22:38:00.001+08:00

Thanks for your nice notes and comments after the last post...I'm afraid the story's only beginning to unfold, twist and turn. It's rather complicated and not very appropriate to post on net.

Everything will be fine, I'm sure.

If your curiosity's piqued, call me :)

Update (16/1): No worries, friends! Everything's fine and dandy with me :) And the issue is settled. Peace shall reign once again. *yay*

Beautiful Day

2007-01-11T14:28:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now

- Beautiful Day, U2

Sigh. Women are such emotional wusses sometimes.

Time to let go. Bye. It was fun while it lasted.

Goodbye 2006!

2006-12-31T18:24:00.000+08:00

5.5 hours more to go before we officially bid 2006 adieu and say a big "HOLA!" to 2007. Somehow the New Year has become lesser of a big deal as time passes...but one thing never changes - it always reminds me of how time can just slip by if you don't put in any efforts to seize the day. Carpe diem.

In the last quarter of the year something shook me out of my apathetic slumber. I don't really know what it was, but suddenly I realised how fragile relationships are and the need to invest time, efforts and humility in order to sustain and/or restore them. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: treasure your relationships esp with family members. Some squabbles are just not worth the overnight anger or resentment.

I swallowed my pride recently and wrote a really mushy letter to my dad on his birthday. I started by saying, "I know I don't say this enough, but I really love you dad." It takes a lot outta me to utter such words but if I don't take this step now, it might get more difficult as time catches up. I want to be comfortable in expressing my love for my parents, and not regret them only when they are not around. I don't want to spend the rest of the days thinking about the "what ifs" and "if only I...". It's not easy as I was brought up in a family whose members are not overtly affectionate towards each other...but it's worth a try.

Yup. So friends, don't hold back on your love for your family. It only takes a teeny step to give them a hug or a smile or bring them out for dinner. I learnt this in 2006 and I'll take this gem of a lesson with me into 2007.

Have a great year everyone : ) May it be filled with lots of love, joy and God's bountiful blessings.

Woah ho! Down memory lane!

2006-12-15T18:34:00.000+08:00

Trish and I met the tenors for a long-delayed catch-up sesh. We had a really really wild time just talking about JC days and what we've been up to since. These are the guys whom I spent a lot of my college time with - the bassists won't hang out with the tenors cos they are...well, higher-pitched than them; the sops totally dig the bass (it's mutual btw); but the altos think the tenors are absolutely fab cos they can actually reach OUR notes...hence it was only natural that the altos and tenors became fast friends. Incidentally, my college love was a tenor too. LOL.

Last night reminded me of the reasons why I get along so well with the divas - their wicked sense of humour, dry wit, tactlessness and oh-so-haughty mannerisms - aw man! I miss them so much!! Meeting up as adults meant that old gossip could be recounted with much amusement and grandeur... and *gasp* the truths behind some of the college myths/mysteries/stories were finally brought to light.

Highlights of the night:
1. She's more manly than C and I combined
2. D had a moustache - I think she ought to depilate
3. Sleazy, slimy TT!
4. It was puppy luuuuurve, my dear

"You can't name an architecture firm 'Architecture'! It's like naming a hotel, 'Hotel'! It doesn't work! I know! How about 'Architecture 81'?"

W: How about calling it "The Best Design Associates"?
D: Yeah! Then when people ask, "Which firm do you work for?", then you can say "I work for The Best Design Associates". "Oh, which one would that be?" "THE BEST DESIGN ASSOCIATES!"

Clincher: Fabia the Labia (I hope she never reads this)

LMAO

I love you all! *muack*

Quick update!

2006-12-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's been a good week, I suppose. Things are going fine, spent some time with friends (Ladybug's night-time tea party!) I shall liven things up by putting some photos of our rendevous at The Cholocate Factory (Ladybug: Lemme know if you want them taken down yeah? I understand that famous people like you need your privacy. Hiak)

Had a fantastic time with the bunch, just throwing jibes at one another and being all kuku again. Haha...and happy birthday once again babe! :D

There has been much hype on TCF recently...and every review I've read had such glorious comments on the desserts so I thought we just *had* to go there for our night rendevous. Plus, for some really weird reason I kinda knew that Ladybug would appreciate the outdoorsy, chic and relaxed atmosphere. She thinks we might be....*gasp* long-lost sisters cos we think so alike! (cue: Twilight zone music)

Anyway the chocolate desserts were quite all right, really. The chocolate tart, especially, caught everyone's attention and palette. It was a rich chocolate mousse on a ferrero rocher-like base. Every bite would send us straight to chocolate heaven and back. Ladybug's chocolate cake was all right - the sponge was nice and light and the fudge was not too sweet. But nothing too exciting. Just think lana cake but with chocolate fudge made from Valrhona chocs.

The tiramisu, however, was disappointing. It was too wet so the sponge fingers were drowning in the rum and water released from the mascapone cheese. We didn't finish that.

I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5. If you pick the right desserts this place can really send you to chocolate heaven. Other plus points are the location and rather attentive service.

Of course, and 4 upon 5 for company :) Lost one point cos the outing was too short la!

Wynne's Friendship Scale

2006-12-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

I have this magnificent (in my opinion) friendship framework which really helps illustrate the level of closeness I have with all my friends. It started when I kept getting questions like "Are you gals close?" and/or "Which stage are you both at?" so, like a true (pseudo) social worker, I decided that it's so much easier to explain using a scale. Everyone understands the scaling technique and it operationalizes so beautifully something as complex as relationships. Of course it's not an absolute scale - i.e. the distance between levels 1 & 2 is different from levels 6 & 7, for instance. It's tougher to move up a level as you progress along.

Level 1 - Acquaintance. Someone whom you just got to know. Name only. Will smile and nod when you bump into each other on streets.

Level 2 - Almost acquaintance. Someone whom you would stop, say hi and ask "how's work" when you bump into each other on the streets. Taboo to talk about relationships, politics and body fluids at this stage.

Level 3 - You know this person well enough to have a meal (usually, lunch) with and able to have a good time while at it. Talk revolves around work, mutual friends, school. Go dutch.

Level 4 - Past niceties and able to poke fun at friends at this stage. You would have established by now that this friend is worth keeping and good company when you need one. Dinner will be acceptable and someone can offer to foot the bill.

Level 5 - Mutual trust established. This friend will go out of the way for you because, you're now a friend. No longer referred to as my "colleague" or "school-mate from the past". This friend will come bail you out when a sleazy ang moh at a bar won't let you go home, and make sure you're home safe. Will also patiently let you whine when it's the time-of-the-month.

Level 6 - This friend knows stuff about you that you won't tell Level 5 and below people. Stuff like "I had a crush on my bus driver" or "I think I have a lump". Talk gets a bit deeper now as you can share about family issues, insecurities, past hurts, etc.

Level 7 - Inner circle of trust now. Someone who has reached this stage is officially a buddy who knows why you squirm when you see your ex from afar and goes on to reassure you even before you squeak. This person knows not just your past and present, but can offer sensible explanations to why your right arm twitches when you walk past an ice-cream parlour. This friend will last forever if you both keep at it.

Level 8 - This one is a gem! This is the first person you'll call when you spot James Lye during lunch, and/or when you've won 50 bottles of body lotion at a draw. First person to come to mind when you wanna go on a holiday and this friend will lend you his/her car when you ask. Without any hesitation.

Level 9&10 - Future partner stage. This is where, if your friend is of the opposite sex, you both should seriously consider spending the rest of your lives together. Best friends and soul mates... you both are so part of each other's lives now you can't imagine what you'll do without him/her.

*phew* there you go. Wynne's Friendship Scale. This probably needs a little tweaking here and there...but you get my drift. Use it if you need to explain your ambiguous relationships : ) Maybe I should write a book on this. Hiak Hiak.

Christmas is a time of giving

2006-11-29T12:15:00.000+08:00

So often we get caught up with our year-end revelry that we forget the people around us who share the same world we live in but are in circumstances less fortunate than ours. They may not be less happy, but the truth is they probably will not be celebrating this year-end fete dining at posh restaurants or at a family member's place having wine, honey roasted ham or seafood risotto.

How often these people go unnoticed in our world; hiding in their own homes spending Christmas like it's just another public holiday. And me? I fall into the trap of busy-ness with church (and party) and deceit that I am too poor to bless others. Hah. What crap. The bible clearly says that no amount is too small for God's kingdom.

Therefore this year, I'm going on a mission. A mission to give my time and money to bless others. Thing is, I don't know where to start. I've offered to help a friend with the BB sharity thingy... but other than that I don't know which other org I can give some money to.

Any suggestions? Better still, anyone keen to join me? : ) Lemme know!

Pseudo tourist

2006-11-28T13:40:00.000+08:00

I'm in the airport transit lounge now...waiting for my airport pass to be renewed. I like the atmosphere in here...everyone's so relaxed and there's a buzz in the air. Prolly the excitement of going away...it's been a while since I felt that way. Hmmm.

Just the other day, my mum and I walked into LV and she offered to buy me a "proper" work bag. She said my current ones were cheap and won't last (they ARE cheap, btw). Hence the generous offer to buy me an iconic bag that will last for generations and henceforth elevate me to the status of a real modern, working woman.

But the pragmatist in me was alive and kicking so I said "no" to LV and its monogrammed madness.

Can someone please say, "Stoooooopid!" Grrrrr. I hope I won't live to regret this decision.

Idiosyncrasies

2006-11-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

I get mildly insulted when I walk to the traffic light, press the button for the lights to change and coming towards me is a woman who clearly saw that I pressed the button but somehow still insists on sticking her arm out to press the button again. I mean, did it look like I merely carassed the darn button?!

And tonight I hurled my ass to the gym after a 3-month hiatus. Yup. And then I felt so good after the workout that I didn't realise I wore my top inside-out when I confidently strutted out. D.A.N.G. Found out only when I got home so nothing could be done. Can someone please say, "DITZ!"

But nonetheless, I suppose the positive energy I was emitting could have masked the embarassment (not mine, but the fellow commuters on the bus). Oh well. The mark of a modern woman eh.

Asian Festival of Films

2006-11-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

I've got an invite to the opening night of the Asian Festival of Film. The film they will be screening is an Indian film called "Dombivli Fast". Hmmmm. The film is in Marathi. I didn't even know that there's a language called Marathi. This will be interesting.

It's Thanksgiving!

2006-11-24T15:54:00.000+08:00

I know Thanksgiving is not celebrated here, but I think it's rather cool to devote an entire day remembering God's goodness and giving thanks to Him for the year's providence by celebrating with closed ones. Roast turkey is of course an added bonus. Heh.

To keep in the spirit of Thanksgiving, and since I have no harvest to be thankful for, I'd like to take this time to thank God for everything that has passed in 2006. That includes the privilege of *your* friendship. Yup, YOU. I know who reads my blog, so this is not some lame way of thanking everyone under the sun. If you really wanna know if I'm referring to you, drop me a comment and I will thank you personally(!). Thank you for your friendship - the raucous laughter, the drinks paid, the food shared, the shoulder to cry on, the sweet sms-es, the horrendous singing, the prayers, the love, the concern. Beneath my sometimes hard and independent exterior lies a truly grateful pile of mush who can't believe that people like you actually chose to be my friends (ok maybe some of you have no choice, but nonetheless you could have easily snubbed me!).

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart : ) You've been a real blessing to me in one way or another.

Here's to many, many more years of friendship to come.

Scratchy

2006-11-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

Nothin' much to update except I've been hit by the flu bug *gag*

And Ladybug has decided to shed some of her vulnerabilities and try public blogging for now (go visit!). Hahah macham like I got so much traffic on my own blog like that ah? Tee hee hee

And I dropped by Y! last week to visit and my oh my, containers are cool! Well, when it's not raining at least.

Also realised in the course of the weeks that I miss having siao siao pple around me.

And since my last post I've bumped into 2 more long-lost friends. Woo hoo.

Will update more when my the hazy mind clears! : ) Have a good week, everyone!

Heart or mind?

2006-11-13T15:44:00.000+08:00

Does your heart sometimes wander so deep into a place where your dreams reside that it makes you just wanna drop everything and go seize the day? Then your mind plays devil's advocate and brings you back to reality - the brutality of life constrained by money, time, location and age.

I don't know how much to dream, or whether I should even dream at all. But the longer I sit on my butt and not act on those dreams, the more dismal I will become when age catches up and responsibilities pile.

Maybe it's time that the mind shut up and let my heart take over.

And it gets a little clearer along the way

2006-11-10T10:47:00.000+08:00

I felt a tinge of regret a few weeks after I left Disneyland (my previous workplace) for Kimchi Palace. It was terrifying entering a new environment - no more familiar smiles, no more statistics and/or SPSS, no more raising POs and writing approval minutes, no more chats along the corridor, no more S11 or Cineleisure foodcourt.

You see, my decision to leave Disney was very much guided by what I thought God was saying to me. The road to Kimchi Palace was smooth as the doors opened one by one, just at the right time. I sensed God saying "Go" and so I did. Some of my close friends told me to wait out my job search cos the deal in KP isn't that fantastic, but I had enough assurance to go. The assurance soon dissipated when, after 4 weeks, KP hadn't met my initial expectations.

I soon doubted my assurance from God. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I heard wrongly. Maybe I went ahead of Him.

But as my Pastor advised, don't be rash (again) and let things unfold. Just cos God said ok doesn't mean everything will be perfect. And I was reminded to give thanks in all circumstances...so I resolved to stop complaining and be thankful for my job.

Then I had some sort of an epiphany today.

In the past 2 months, I've re-connected with old friends whom I've not met for 8-10 years, re-established friendships with friends whom I always had trouble catching up with cos of conflicting schedules, made friends with people whom I naturally would not gravitate towards in normal social settings and am more on-the-ball in ensuring I maintain the friendships made in Disney. All because I now work in KP.

And if one of the purposes of leading me to Kimchi Palace is so that I would meet these people and share my life with them again, then I must say the choice to move is proving to be wiser than I had imagined.

Sometimes you doubt yourself, then God reveals such amazing things that you just have to believe that He truly is interested in all aspects of our lives, big or small. I'm still adopting a wait-and-see attitude, but I gotta admit, I'm more confident of the future now cos I know the Big One is truly guiding my path. So bring it on!

Letting go

2006-11-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you hold on to a person, an idea, or an object too tightly for too long in your hand it begins to cut into your flesh. For a while you may not feel pain because you've been clutching the very item for so long you are afraid what might happen when you release it. It grows to become a part of you.

But soon God says, "Enough. Let it go. It's hurting you more than you think." You resist the idea of releasing to God. What will you do without it? What will become of you? You are too used to its existence...your identity and personality was built around it. On the other hand you recognise the changes it created in you - the jadedness, the cynicism, the inherent mistrust of people, pride, insecurity...

"I can't heal the wound if you don't let go. The cut is getting deeper by the minute. Open your hand....give it to me. And I will heal."

Slowly you convince yourself that you can't do this forever, alone. Not by your own strength and definitely not with the little faith you have. You open your hand and the object in question is handed over to the Master. The Divine Healer. The Lover of your Soul. You gawk at the mess it created - blood everywhere, numerous lacerations, pus... the Healer then goes on do His work. The wound starts to hurt and a stinging pain shoots right through your body. But that's how it has to be. "Spiritual surgery", someone told me.

"This might hurt in the beginning, but that's the only way. You didn't realise that the longer you hold on, the deeper the wound gets and it will get painful before it starts to heal. That's why you should never hold on to something you weren't meant to hold for too long. That's why I asked you to give them to me. I have your best interest at heart because I love you. I created you this way. Not to be caught up with all these worldy matters but to be with me and love me."

==========

No, nothing happened today or the past few days. I was just reminded about a time in my life not so long ago when I was clinging on very tightly to something that I shouldn't have. It began to choke me...but I was obsessed. I finally handed it to God after one long year(or risked facing asphyxiation in no time) and boy, did I create a mess.

But while it was ugly, there was a deep sense of release and the freedom to truly enjoy life the way God had intended it to be - abundant, joyful... zoe life! Life free from the burdens of expectations, achievements and being someone I am not.

What are you holding on today that you need to give to Jesus? Take them to the cross.

The games people play

2006-11-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

I just don't get it - why do people like to play games when it comes to relationships? Why be so surreptitious to the point of ambiguity? Why move back and forth as though we're in some mating dance?

I'm not saying that I don't enjoy being coy - in fact, I get intimidated with people who are too forthcoming too quick. But it distresses me when a guy drops major hints everyday and behaves in a manner that implies something more than platonic friends but retreats at the slightest hint of interest shown by me. I'm just responding to you, for crying out loud! And when I decide to protect myself by keeping a distance, he claims that I am cold. Wha..?!?!!

*sigh* I shan't bother. It really isn't worth it. Or maybe I've been out of the game so long that I forgot what it was like. Do I *really* have to go through this?

Parachute band

2006-10-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

Quick post - Parachute Band's coming to town! Parachute Band is a NZ-based worship band. In my honest opinion, they are one of the most anointed and musical worship bands I have come acrossed. Their lyrics often convey a deep and mature understanding of the gospel and the Christian walk. Their aboriginal background also means that their sound is rather unique and not the usual jarring bam-bam-bam kind.

Free night concert at RiverLife Church.
4 November, Sat
7:30pm
www.riverlife.org.sg

:)

Conquered thoughts

2006-10-29T17:45:00.000+08:00

So, I did it today. Ran 10km without stopping, with less whining in the beginning, and with my legs still intact. The gals and I met up bright and early at 6:30am and headed straight to the Padang for warm-ups. First thing we noticed - PA has rather strong org spirit (no, not referring to some ghost or alcohol).

The route was longer and tougher than I expected - afterall, I never ran more than 8km prior to this and I always entertained the urge to just stop and give my poor body a break. Hah. Not this time. I fought the monsters in my head and told myself to not let the legs stop chugging. Chug along, chug along...

Helped that I was focused on my breathing and a certain derriere belonging to a runner 3m in front of moi. No, her cheeks were not particularly alluring or what (couldn't tell from the loose shorts anyway)...but I just had to keep my eyes from looking too far ahead as it would get me all demoralised finding out how far I really was from the endpoint. Yeah, I know. Weird.

Anyways. We all did great (: Last note - exercise does release endorphins. Woo hoo!

2006-10-26T12:56:00.000+08:00

Since I have time, I've been thinking about what I want to acheive in 2007. This attempt is risker than previous years because unlike paper journals where I penned my previous years' goals down, this time, by posting them online, I am in a way giving my well-meaning friends permission to taunt, bug and annoy me if I do not acheive any single one of the goals I set out.

*breathe* Ok I'm ready.

1. Run more than 10km in another organised run thingamajig
2. Clean my room and maintain its state for more than 7 days
3. Keep my finances in check (by controlling my splurges) - i.e. no debt, lots of liquidity, regular investments
4. Take my Advanced Diving Certification and of course, go diving
5. Take my GMAT and seriously consider grad school
6. Take some bible courses or go to Mission school (part-time la)

All righty...I'm ready for 2007! I think. *gulp*

2006-10-25T16:24:00.000+08:00

When the cats are away, the mice come out to play.

Mr Listerine* is having a self-declared coffee break and so I am pretty much left to my own devices. Days like these are rare NYC; but here, such occurances seem more like a dime in a dozen.

Since starting work at Kimchi Palace* 2 months ago my life has been utterly b.o.r.i.n.g. I've read almost every business magazine they received in the past 6 months, completed all the online training courses required, read every single post on the Kimchi Palace intranet, and even managed to start a blog. How wonderful.

Jelly Bean* says that I should be thankful that I don't need to go on an overdrive at work and I'm able to knock off punctually at 6pm everyday...whereas he has been clocking 14-15 hours per day including weekends and public holidays. Well, clocking hours is not what I'm griping about here. Although some friends say that busy-ness is a form of social status, I would very much like to lead a well-balanced life comprising work, play and God. Which means, though I'm in an enviable position of being able to keep to the strictly 8:30-6:00 schedule everyday, somehow, I'm not happy. Or as happy as I thought I would be when I took this job.

I'm chasing after that sense of accomplishment after a day's work. The sense of fulfillment knowing that you've been at your absolute, most productive state today and the hours did not go to waste. And at the moment, I'm just not getting any of those at Kimchi Palace. I'm suppose to be "toiling under the sun" and not be a sluggard.

On a slightly happier note, as Ladybug reminded me in her post, Christmas is coming. Time for the geese to get fat.

*names have been changed to protect their identity. And my job.